Archive for the 'The road less travelled' Category

Bikini Kill – Rebel Girl

July 13, 2010

That girl thinks she’s the queen of the neighborhood
She’s got the hottest trike in town
That girl she holds her head up so high
I think I wanna be her best friend, yeah

Rebel girl, Rebel girl
Rebel girl you are the queen of my world
Rebel girl, Rebel girl
I think I wanna take you home
I wanna try on your clothes oh

When she talks, I hear the revolutions
In her hips, there’s revolutions
When she walks, the revolution’s coming
In her kiss, I taste the revolution

Rebel girl, Rebel girl
Rebel girl you are the queen of my world
Rebel girl, Rebel girl
I know I wanna take you home
I wanna try on your clothes oh

That girl thinks she’s the queen of the neighborhood
I got news for you, she is!
They say she’s a dyke, but I know
She is my best friend, yeah

Rebel girl, Rebel girl
Rebel girl you are the queen of my world
Rebel girl, Rebel girl
I know I wanna take you home
I wanna try on your clothes

Love you like a sister always
Soul sister, Rebel girl
Come and be my best friend
Will you Rebel girl?
I really like you
I really wanna be your best friend
Be my Rebel girl

7/7: Five years on

July 7, 2010

Today, 7th July 2010, is the fifth anniversary of the London bombings. This year, as before, I hope to spend the day quietly, just getting on with everyday life. I think of the 52 who were denied the chance to do that, and of the hundreds more who survived and for whom the phrase ‘everyday life’ surely has a different meaning. And I think of the unknown numbers of us who have been affected in countless ways since that day, the day when everything changed.

Here is an excerpt from my journal of 7th July 2008:

7/7 memorial in Hyde Park

7 July 2008

Three years ago today at about 10 minutes to eight, I got off the Piccadilly line Tube at Russell Square and went into work as usual. An hour later, four terrorists detonated their bombs, murdering 52 people, injuring hundreds and turning upside down the lives of thousands of relatives and friends.

I was lucky; I wasn’t directly affected at all.

It was my second near miss with a terrorist atrocity: in 1996, on the day before it was detonated, I walked past the Manchester bomb on my way home from work. I could have reached out and touched the bonnet of the van containing the 3,300lb bomb.

I was lucky; I wasn’t directly affected at all.

The London bombings made me aware of the randomness of that sort of violence. The population of London was around 7 million – and almost any one of us could have been victims of the murderers. And I began to wonder how it would feel to reach the end of your life, only to realise that you’d completely wasted it; that there was nothing you could look back on with a sense of achievement, of happiness, of peace.

Over the course of the following year, that sense of a wasted life returned to me time and again, and always I would refuse to face up to the fact that I was denying my true identity, my sense of being gendered female. And each time I pushed those feelings down inside me was another act of self-harm. Until, eventually, I couldn’t take it any more.

And one sunny afternoon in August 2006, I found myself in the headspace where I knew I needed outside help to begin to heal the damage I had done to myself – and was ready to ask for that help. But I had to find that place by myself, and I wouldn’t have started that process without the events of July 2005.

Good things can come from bad. And even though they may not be the things we expected, we should cherish them and be happy for them, because life is too fragile, too precious and too short to waste.

We must live the lives that are ours.

Starting today.

Marina & the Diamonds – I Am Not A Robot (Starsmith’s 24 Carat Remix)

July 1, 2010

Marina & the Diamonds
I Am Not A Robot (Starsmith’s 24 Carat Remix)

Can you teach me how to feel real?
Can you turn my power off?
Can you teach me how to feel real?
Can you turn my power off?

You’ve been acting awful tough lately
Smoking a lot of cigarettes lately
But inside you’re just a little baby
It’s okay to say you’ve got a weak spot
You don’t always have to be on top
Better to be hated than love, love, loved for what you’re not

You’re vulnerable, you’re vulnerable
You are not a robot
You’re loveable, so loveable
But you’re just troubled

You’ve been hanging with the unloved kids
Who you never really liked and you never trusted
But you are so magnetic, you pick up all the pins
Never committing to anything
You don’t pick up the phone when it ring, ring, rings
Don’t be so pathetic, just open up and sing

I’m vulnerable, I’m vulnerable
I am not a robot
You’re loveable, so loveable
But you’re just troubled
I’m vulnerable, I’m vulnerable
I am not a robot
You’re loveable, so loveable
But you’re just troubled

Guess what? I’m not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I’m not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I’m not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I’m not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I’m not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I’m not a robot, a robot

Guess what? I am not a robot
Guess what? I am not a robot
Guess what? I’m not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I’m not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I’m not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I’m not a robot, a robot

It’s a long road…

June 23, 2010

…there’s no turning back

[Music by Funki Porcini, 1995]

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

[From The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost, 1916]

Another milestone on the road less travelled

June 21, 2010

50 Foot Wave – Your Ghost

June 2, 2010

If I walk down this hallway
Tonight, it’s too quiet
So I pad through the dark
And call you on the phone
Push your old numbers
And let your house ring
Till I wake your ghost

Let him walk down your hallway
It’s not this quiet
Slide down your receiver
Sprint across the wire
Follow my number
Slide into my hand

It’s the blaze across my nightgown
It’s the phone’s ring

I think last night
You were driving circles around me

I can’t drink this coffee
Till I put you in my closet
Let him shoot me down
Let him call me off
I take it from his whisper
You’re not that tough

It’s the blaze across my nightgown
It’s the phone’s ring

I think last night
You were driving circles around me

Ten years gone

May 30, 2010

Baby needs new strings

Mechanical Me – Beachy Head (Bonobo Mix)

May 27, 2010

Lying very still
underneath the Sun
Waiting for the cool of
the night to come
I pick up a stone
Press it in my palms
Throw it out to sea
and count wishes…

Burning Spear ‘Slavery Days’

May 22, 2010

Lila Downs – Minimum Wage

May 2, 2010