WARNING: possibly triggering
A timely reminder – not only for the forthcoming “festive season”, but as a general rule to live by. And it’s sad that it needs to be spelt out so forcefully.
A lot has been said about how to prevent rape. Trans women should learn self-defense. Trans women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Trans women shouldn’t have long hair and trans women shouldn’t wear short skirts. Trans women shouldn’t leave drinks unattended. Fuck, they shouldn’t dare to get drunk at all.
Instead of that bullshit, how about:
If a trans woman is drunk, don’t rape her. If a trans woman is walking alone at night, don’t rape her. If a trans woman is drugged and unconscious, don’t rape her. If a trans woman is wearing a short skirt, don’t rape her. If a trans woman is jogging in a park at 5am, don’t rape her. If a trans woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you’re still hung up on, don’t rape her. If a trans woman is asleep in her bed, don’t rape her. If a trans woman is asleep in your bed, don’t rape her. If a trans woman is doing her laundry, don’t rape her. If a trans woman is in a coma, don’t rape her. If a trans woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don’t rape her. If a trans woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don’t rape her. If a trans woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don’t rape her. If your trans girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don’t rape her. If your trans daughter or step-daughter is watching TV, don’t rape her.
If you break into a house and find a trans woman there, don’t rape her. If your cis friend thinks it’s okay to rape a trans woman, tell him it’s not, and that he’s not your friend. If your cis “friend” tells you he raped a trans woman, report him to the police. If your cis frat-brother or another cis guy at the party tells you there’s an unconscious trans woman upstairs and it’s your turn, don’t rape her, call the police and report him as a rapist.
Tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, and sons of friends that it’s not okay to rape trans women.
Don’t just tell your trans women friends how to be safe and avoid rape. Don’t imply that she could have avoided it if she’d only done/not done x, y, or z. Don’t imply that it’s in any way her fault. Don’t let silence imply agreement when a cis man tells you he “got some” with the drunk trans woman. Don’t perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can too help yourself. Rape is not about sex, it’s about control and power, and what kind of power comes from taking advantage of others? No power anyone should ever desire.
Adapted from an old (2006) post found at Mann’s blog