Mid year review

July 13, 2009

20090129_enough1s-1I’ve previously posted more than once about safe(r) spaces for trans people (in short: there’s no such thing), and, together with the frightening levels of hate and bile exhibited by far too many people, trans and cis, in far too many flame wars recently, it’s clear that I’m not strong enough to cope with the foibles of full-on trans Blogdonia in its present incarnation.

In the past six months I’ve been attacked online by trans and cis people alike, both here at BoP and over at Twitter, which had become a favourite place to hang out and socialise.

In addition, the past couple of weeks have brought about some very distressing developments in my life offline, and this has contributed to the overwhelming sense of isolation and helplessness I currently feel.

So it seems to me that I need to step back a little, at least for the time being. In the longer term, whether I’ll stick around or quit blogging completely is a decision I’m going to put off until I’ve found a little more equilibrium and can make a more rational, informed choice.

My current thinking is something like this:

  1. I’ll keep BoP active for the time being, but will be updating less frequently. In particular I’ll be posting much less on news-related items (although I do have one more piece to write about the Nastaran Kolestani trial).
  2. Comments will return to full moderation and the conditions set out in my Comments Policy will apply.
  3. I’ll drop in at Twitter from time to time but am unlikely to be an active contributor there for the foreseeable future.
  4. I’ve never been much for commenting elsewhere anyway, and that will pretty much stop all together.
  5. I’ll keep an eye on certain favourite blogs, as well as events in Blogdonia, but from a distance.

As I’ve said, I’m at a really low ebb at the moment, and I need to begin to work through that, somehow. My own sense of well-being has to be my priority – and feeling unsafe nearly everywhere I go online isn’t helping. So now I have to change the way I use, and interact over, the web in order to accomodate that.

Helen

PS. Thanks to those of you who commented on my previous post; your kindness is really appreciated and helped me through an unexpectedly difficult weekend.

7 Responses to “Mid year review”

  1. queen emily Says:

    Oh poop, I missed that. Being at rather low ebb myself this weekend..

    And yes, I understand about not feeling safe. There’s been a.. feeling.. around that I don’t like, at all.

    Talk to me and Lisa about QT pon the email though, we wouldn’t to lose you altogether :(

  2. queen emily Says:

    I do suggest replacing twitter with gchatting with rabbits about tunes and that.

  3. Weasel Says:

    Taking a step back (or a short walk, or a long aeroplane ride …) when you need to is one of the most sensible and hardest to do things re: internets, etc.

    And you’re right, your own wellbeing has to come first.

    You know where I am, in several senses, give me a shout if you ever want to talk.

    Be well, be safe.

  4. Lori Smith Says:

    Take all the time you need. We’ll be here waiting for when you get back xx

  5. Marigold Says:

    I’m really sorry you feel this way; hope you start feeling better a.s.a.p.! Will be thinking of you.

    Pax Christi,
    Marigold

  6. Emily Says:

    I do hope that you feel better soon. I understand completely where you’re coming from and you need to look after yourself.

    Take care!

    Hugs,

    Em

  7. GallingGalla Says:

    take care and hugs. you’ve got my e-mail from my comments, if you ever want to give a shout.


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